We Oppose This Bumper Sticker

Ignore This Warning!
Ignore This Warning!

At pfpfp, we’re always watching for warning signs that should be ignored.  While our title (we oppose this bumper sticker) is technically incorrect, it was the best we could do.  Remember, if you text while driving you will increase the demand for this company’s products, boosting the economy.

Martian Not Mayan

Curiosity Lander
Curiosity Lander

As the Curiosity spacecraft approaches Mars, I have realized something important.  Martian not Mayan!  The source of the upcoming apocalypse will be the red planet, not a centuries-dead civilization.

So far, the Martians have been nice to us.  We’ve sent up a bunch of cool toys that I’m sure they’ve enjoyed playing with.  But Curiosity contains a nuclear reactor.  Act of war, anyone?

The Martians will not be pleased.  Remember, you read it here first.

A Terrific Idea from Australia

Today I ran across a terrific idea from Australia.  Blogger Damon Young writing for abc.net.au penned an entry titled “Surviving the suburban purgatory of the school run.”  Mr. Young expounds on various aspects of dropping off and collecting children from school.  He begins with a pithy quote from Gwyneth Paltrow, followed by this summary from Mr. Young: “The thought of doing school pickup until she was 58, Paltrow joked, put paid to her plans for a third child.”

So far, so good.  But the best part comes in the comments.  This goodie by “Dino not to be confused with :” was grabbed by Margaret Smith (@DrMobs).  Here’s what Dino proposes:

“My suggestion is we lower the legal driving age to three. Kid’s are much more tech savvy these days and they could download an app or something.”

What a great idea!  Parents would no longer have to put up with being chauffeurs.  And we have to add Dino to our list of people we admire.

Lower the Driving Age to Three!
Lower the Driving Age to Three!

Mayor Bloomberg’s War on Obesity

New Yorker CoverNew York mayor Michael Bloomberg has declared war on obesity.  The opening salvo was banning the sale of “Super-Sized” or “Big Gulp” sugared sodas.  It hardly needs pointing out that pfpfp is completely opposed to this move.  Contrary to Mayor Bloomberg’s opinion, we believe there is not enough obesity.  More obesity means more, earlier deaths means fewer people.  What’s not to like?

The New Yorker cover above nails it pretty well.

 

Another Fashion Travesty From the Wall Street Journal

Another fashion travesty from the Wall Street Journal.  The June 7 “Personal Journal” section features a story about aloha shirts.  Most folks know what these are: large, airy, comfortable, always including bright patterns.  Tropical, in fact.  The classic Hawaii tourist joint Hilo Hattie’s still carries them:

Hilo Hattie Genuine Aloha Shirt
Hilo Hattie Genuine Aloha Shirt

But now we are told the “new, improved” shirts are “slimmer and more modern:”

Wall Street Journal Aloha Shirt Travesty
Wall Street Journal Aloha Shirt Travesty

News flash: Hawai’ians are big.  Not “slim,” not “modern.”  Big.  Aloha shirts are supposed to cover a Hawaiian, not some underfed Wall Street Journal reporter.  Even though we at pfpfp support starvation, using Aloha shirts to promote it is a travesty.

 

Our New Heroine

Nadine Schweigert
Nadine Schweigert

Nadine Schweigert, 36, is our new heroine.  In March, she married … herself.  The most entertaining coverage is at the Nairaland blog.  Be sure you read the comments.

Ms. Schweigert will, presumably, be unable to procreate without taking extreme measures.  We applaud her decision and urge her to continue in her child-free ways.  Thanks to Chuck Shepherd’s News of the Weird

Depressing News About Runaway Cars

Accelerator Assembly, 2007 Toyota
Accelerator Assembly, 2007 Toyota

Today’s New York Times brought depressing news about runaway cars. The  Business section had an article about a proposed rule that would require “all new cars and trucks to have a brake-throttle override system, giving drivers the ability to step on the brake to stop the car if the accelerator pedal sticks or malfunctions.”  In other words, the regulators are trying to save lives.  That goal is the opposite of everything pfpfp stands for.

But there is a ray of hope.  A few paragraphs down, we find this:

“Brake override systems, part of the software in a vehicle’s on-board computercut the throttle when the brake pedal is pushed. The systems give the brakes precedence if a driver steps on both pedals simultaneously or if the accelerator is already depressed when the brake is applied.”

All the evidence points to driver failure in most of the runaway car cases.  Whenever investigators bother to look at the car’s on-board computer, they discover that most of the time the driver did not touch the brakes.  Instead, drivers press the accelerator harder as they mistakenly believe they are pressing the brake.  The brake override systems only work if someone actually presses the brake.  So, like most of the rules coming out of Washington, this new requirement will increase costs with negligible benefits.

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