I won’t go into the symptoms that indicate flu rather than a cold because this website is offensive enough already.  But after a quick look around the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), I have a pretty good idea what’s going on.  This appears to be a beta test of the U.S. government’s solution to the financial problems facing Social Security and Medicare (and Obamacare as it is currently written).

The pullquote below is a long quotation from the CDC’s website.  Let me summarize the relevant parts.  For people older than 65 (which includes me, but not my wife),  Incidentally, VE stands for vaccine effectiveness.

• “…the VE against flu A and B viruses ranged from 27% in people 65 and older…”
• “…VE against flu A (H3N2) viruses in people 65 and older was significantly lower than in other age groups.“
• “Overall, VE estimates suggest that the 2012-2013 flu vaccine has moderate effectiveness for most people against the flu viruses spreading in the United States, similar to previously published reports. The one exception to this was the VE among people 65 and older against flu A (H3N2) viruses, which was lower. The single point estimate for VE in this age group was 9% (95% CI: -84% to 55%). Note that because the confidence interval crossed zero for the 65 and older age group, this estimate is not statistically significant, and therefore, the results should be interpreted with caution.”

Got that?  The government is trying to kill us old folks.  Their first attempt was the distribution of “free” cheese to those 65 and older.  Unfortunately (for the government, not for us elderly), Big Pharma invented the statin drugs which are keeping us alive longer than the government prediction.  So here we have a second try: a flu vaccine that just happens to not work very well against old folks.  Gotta hand it to the folks in Washington, D.C.  This is almost better than trying to use a poisoned cigar to assassinate Fidel Castro.

What are CDC’s current estimates of flu vaccine effectiveness this season?

… Overall, the VE estimate for protecting against having to go to the doctor because of flu illness was 56% for all age groups (95% confidence interval: 47% to 63%). … This VE estimate means that getting a flu vaccine this season reduced the vaccinated population’s risk of having to go to the doctor because of the flu by more than half. However, VE can vary across age groups and across different flu viruses, so CDC further analyzed the VE estimates to adjust for these factors. When broken down by different age groups, the VE against flu A and B viruses ranged from 27% in people 65 and older to 64% in children (aged 6 months to 17 years old). …

… The one exception to [the overall VE] was the VE among people 65 and older against flu A (H3N2) viruses, which was lower. The single point estimate for VE in this age group was 9% (95% CI: -84% to 55%). …. Overall, this estimate means that vaccine effectiveness was lower than expected in this age group against flu A (H3N2) viruses. …

For those who are too cowardly to click the above link, here are some clues.  First, a quote from the article:

Plans to build a £19m amusement park in the town where Osama bin Laden was killed by US special forces have been revealed.

The 50-acre site on the edge of Abbottabad would include a zoo, adventure sports facilities, restaurants and artificial waterfalls.

Officials in the northwestern Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province hope the project will boost tourism but denied it was intended to improve the town’s image after the bin Laden raid.
…
“The amusement city will be built on 50 acres in the first phase but later will be extended to 500 acres,” Syed Aqil Shah, the provincial minister for tourism and sports, said.

And if that’s not enough, here’s a reminder of what this is all about:

You know This Guy

Ignore This Warning!

At pfpfp, we’re always watching for warning signs that should be ignored.  While our title (we oppose this bumper sticker) is technically incorrect, it was the best we could do.  Remember, if you text while driving you will increase the demand for this company’s products, boosting the economy.

Curiosity Lander

As the Curiosity spacecraft approaches Mars, I have realized something important.  Martian not Mayan!  The source of the upcoming apocalypse will be the red planet, not a centuries-dead civilization.

So far, the Martians have been nice to us.  We’ve sent up a bunch of cool toys that I’m sure they’ve enjoyed playing with.  But Curiosity contains a nuclear reactor.  Act of war, anyone?

The Martians will not be pleased.  Remember, you read it here first.

So far, so good.  But the best part comes in the comments.  This goodie by “Dino not to be confused with :” was grabbed by Margaret Smith (@DrMobs).  Here’s what Dino proposes:

“My suggestion is we lower the legal driving age to three. Kid’s are much more tech savvy these days and they could download an app or something.”

What a great idea!  Parents would no longer have to put up with being chauffeurs.  And we have to add Dino to our list of people we admire.

Lower the Driving Age to Three!

The New Yorker cover above nails it pretty well.