Why We Hate Modern Cars

Saturday, March 1, we were driving from San Jose to Los Gatos.  (California for you lame-o’s).  The driving conditions were not good.  The pavement was wet, there was low barometric pressure, and many of the drivers did not drive on weekdays. This is why we hate modern cars.

When what appeared to my right?  A snazzy new BMW, probably at least a 7 series (look it up).  The driver was weaving in and out of lanes, cutting people off, and generally driving like an idiot.  My lovely wife (who is a much better driver than me) actually screamed a bit at the antics of this moron.

But, in this case, there was instant karma.  I made a wrong turn exiting the freeway and we drove past the scene pictured below.  Yes, that is her car.  She managed to take out a utility pole.  But she was on her cell phone as we drove by.  The @#$%^& air bag and breakaway utility pole had left her undamaged.

Darwin loses again

If this isn’t an argument against air bags, shoulder belts, and crumple zones, I don’t know what is.  We need more Darwin, not less.

Driving and Texting: An Obvious Solution

An enormous number of people use text messaging while they are driving.  In California and a number of other states this is illegal.  But that has not stopped the carnage on our freeways.  At PFPFP.org we have a proposal that should solve the problem in short order.

A simple change to the law is all that is required.  Make it legal to text while driving as long as the driver (also, presumably, the texter) is not wearing a seat belt.  Ideally, airbags would be switched off, too, but that presents technical difficulties that us folks at pfpfp are not prepared to take on.

We Need More of This!Prediction: within a few years the problem of drivers texting will take care of itself.  And, as an added bonus, this will further our organization’s goals.

Visit This Theme Park

Here at People for a Population Free Planet, we’re always looking for innovative ways to thin the herd.  As such, we recommend you visit this theme park. Sure, it’s a little inconvenient (in Pakistan), but we promise it will be worth the trip.

For those who are too cowardly to click the above link, here are some clues.  First, a quote from the article:

Plans to build a £19m amusement park in the town where Osama bin Laden was killed by US special forces have been revealed.

The 50-acre site on the edge of Abbottabad would include a zoo, adventure sports facilities, restaurants and artificial waterfalls.

Officials in the northwestern Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province hope the project will boost tourism but denied it was intended to improve the town’s image after the bin Laden raid.

“The amusement city will be built on 50 acres in the first phase but later will be extended to 500 acres,” Syed Aqil Shah, the provincial minister for tourism and sports, said.

And if that’s not enough, here’s a reminder of what this is all about:

You know This Guy
You know This Guy

We Oppose This Bumper Sticker

Ignore This Warning!
Ignore This Warning!

At pfpfp, we’re always watching for warning signs that should be ignored.  While our title (we oppose this bumper sticker) is technically incorrect, it was the best we could do.  Remember, if you text while driving you will increase the demand for this company’s products, boosting the economy.

A Terrific Idea from Australia

Today I ran across a terrific idea from Australia.  Blogger Damon Young writing for abc.net.au penned an entry titled “Surviving the suburban purgatory of the school run.”  Mr. Young expounds on various aspects of dropping off and collecting children from school.  He begins with a pithy quote from Gwyneth Paltrow, followed by this summary from Mr. Young: “The thought of doing school pickup until she was 58, Paltrow joked, put paid to her plans for a third child.”

So far, so good.  But the best part comes in the comments.  This goodie by “Dino not to be confused with :” was grabbed by Margaret Smith (@DrMobs).  Here’s what Dino proposes:

“My suggestion is we lower the legal driving age to three. Kid’s are much more tech savvy these days and they could download an app or something.”

What a great idea!  Parents would no longer have to put up with being chauffeurs.  And we have to add Dino to our list of people we admire.

Lower the Driving Age to Three!
Lower the Driving Age to Three!